Dirt
by Vietta
Summary: Reno and Kunsel have a crazy night out and the next morning a few hangover-fueled bets are made. let's just hope no one gets too carried away!
1. Chapter 1

Reno grumbled weakly at the sun as it poured cold and unforgiving dawn through the slits in the tightly closed blinds that were supposed to be guarding him from the suns vicious assault against his half-drunk senses. He could remember falling asleep in his bed, yet he could clearly tell that this was his living room; his bedroom had blankets draped over the windows to keep out the ghastly light that was slicing into his retinas as he weakly tried to rouse himself. He hoped that the rest of the jumbled memories from the night before were as false as the one where he fell asleep in his bed, but he knew that, when he was drunk, if he could lay down on it and be warm his drunken-self thought that whatever he was on definitely had to be a bed. Considering his massive hangover, he was sure that most of his memories were real, not just drunken imaginings.

Reno sat up, frowning as a crusted over puddle of drool tried to stick his face to the couch, not letting him part with it without taking couch fibers with him. He hated drooling all over his couch. It made it weird to sit on it later. The light jabbed at his eyes and he groaned, pulling down his goggles and sighing in relief as the UV polarized lenses guarded his fragile eyes from the sun's wrath. All he needed to sober himself up was a quick pee and two to three pots of coffee laced with liquor. Peeing was first, as his bladder was sending urgent requests to his brain and he didn't want to stain his couch more than he already had.

Reno blinked as he stepped into his bathroom, trying to focus his bleary eyes on the man hugging his toilet bowl and snoring with all the musical clarity of ten thousand chainsaws slicing rotten fruit. A quick peek into the toilet bowl let him know that his friend had at least managed to flush before he had decided to French kiss his toilet seat. If Reno had had any desire to kiss the man the night before, he had lost it now as he watched the man's tongue loll out of his mouth as his snores echoed into the toilet bowl.

He nudged the sleeper with his foot, ready for the snoring to stop. "Yo, sleepin' beauty, wake up. I've gotta take a wiz."

The brunette jerked his head off the toilet and blinked, his eyes shaking as he worked too hard to make them focus. A few stammering yawns accompanied his slightly slurred speech. "W-whys it d-dark?"

"My hangover wouldn't let me turn 'em on, yo. I'll get 'em." Reno closed his eyes and flicked the switch on quickly.

The brunette groaned and scrubbed at his face with his hands. "My hangover says turn 'em off!"

Reno obliged happily and poked at the brunette, trying to urge him away from the toilet he desperately needed to use. "Kunsel, I gotta pee!" It had taken him a moment to remember who he had brought home with him, but he was sure that Kunsel was just as taken aback by whose house he was in as Reno was. Reno had expected to be taken home, not to take someone home.

Kunsel stood and batted Reno's hand away. "Stop pokin'! I'm up!" He walked to the door and let Reno have uninterrupted access to the toilet, his voice clearer now that he had peeled his mouth off the toilet. "Hey, can my hangover make some super strong coffee while yours pisses?"

Reno nodded and unzipped, letting out a sigh as three pints of booze flooded from his system. "Yeah, just wash the toilet off your face and hands. My hangover might be an ass but he doesn't want either of us getting sick."

"Thanks." Kunsel staggered out of the bathroom, leaving Reno to bond with his porcelain throne.

A few minutes later, Reno emerged from his war room victorious. His head spun less now that he had scrubbed his face clean and tugged off his strangely tight goggles. He must have adjusted them while he was drunk because now they were far too snug on his head. He was too hung-over to adjust them now, but he would get to it before he left for work. He tossed them on his couch as he passed through the living room, blinking as he realized that it was dark despite his window's lack of proper sun protection. He looked over and smiled; Kunsel was so nice to his hangover. A think blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch now found itself draped over the window, blocking out the worst of the light that struggled to break through the fiber's tight constrains to get to Reno's bloodshot eyes.

The delicious smell of fresh coffee grounds being boiled through reached his nose and his stomach flip-flopped; Reno was so in love with his coffee. When he drank it, it gave him the euphoric sense that the world was as it should be and that any minute a hot blonde with ten million dollars and an urge to splurge on him would walk through the door. Reno took a seat at his bar styled counter and yelped, standing abruptly. "Ow! What the hell!" His seat was a smooth as ever, so he figured the pain must be inherent to his backside. "Did I get gang banged or something, Kunsel?"

"Nah, but you did get manhandled by more than one SOLDIER boy last night. Zack probably left the bruises on your ass. You did moon him more than once so I'm pretty sure you were asking for it." Kunsel leaned beside the coffee pot with his head on the counter, his hair fluffy and soft looking as he watched each drip of black gold drop into the pot of coffee.

"That sounds about right." Reno grinned, suddenly remembering how many times he had decided to tell Zack to kiss his ass in the most impolite way he could think of. Zack had been an asshole all night because Cloud hadn't shown up. Reno could understand why the blonde had bailed; when he showed up things got a little tense because Cloud didn't like to talk to him a lot and drunk Reno wanted everyone to talk to him. Drunk Reno had no boundaries, but sober Reno always brought Cloud a thermos of his coffee in the morning if he remembered being too big an asshole. He would probably have to bring an entire gallon full of his special brew to the office to make amends to all the co-workers he undoubtedly pissed off the night before. He snatched a cushion from the couch and brought it to the chair, sitting on it to keep himself from feeling the large bruises across his tender ass. "It feels like I got man-handled by a gorilla."

"Gorillas have bigger hands than Zack, but I'm not surprised you hurt. He wasn't exactly gentle." Kunsel yawned and watched the coffee, his eyes as bloodshot as Reno's.

"So did you get any good pictures of it?" Reno watched Kunsel, knowing that the brunette had been snapping pictures all night long.

Kunsel grinned and dragged his phone out of his pocket. "Oh yeah, I got some good ones. It was pretty awesome, you mauled Sephiroth with love and he didn't seem to upset about returning the favor. That might be more reason for your ass pain."

Reno pouted. He didn't remember that part. "I got to grope on Sephiroth? Damn! That was totally worth remembering but I can't!"

"If you see the picture maybe you'll-" Kunsel paused and stared at his phone. "This isn't my phone…" He quickly opened it and then stood, color draining from his already pale face. "Aww, shit! This is Genesis' phone! That means that that picture it all over Gaia by now!"

Reno shrugged and tugged two coffee mugs out of the cupboard over his coffee pot. "Don't stress, it wouldn't be the first picture of me being a tool or whore that got onto the internet."

"That wasn't the picture I was talking about." Kunsel blushed and sat, burying his face in his palms.

"What picture then?" Reno poured out coffee and passed it over to Kunsel.

"Well…." Kunsel looked at Reno with wide, begging eyes. "Please promise you won't tell first?"

"If it's on the internet, Kunsel, I won't have to." Reno chuckled and dosed his coffee with mild liquor, adding a few gulps to Kunsel's mug as well.

"Oh, right." Kunsel sighed and set his head on the counter. "Well, last night I sort've hooked up with Genesis for like twenty minutes and I gave him my phone so he'd take a picture of me giving him a blowjob and I guess I never took my phone back and he's probably pissed because I was so wasted that I wasn't any good."

"Well, that sucks. Text him and tell him if he posts it on the internet you'll send his embarrassing phone photos to his parents." Reno sucked down his coffee eagerly, basking in the burning goodness that scalded the back of his throat.

"But what if he doesn't have embarrassing phone pictures?" Kunsel raised an eyebrow, the thin brown strip of hair disappearing behind his thin bangs.

"Oh, trust me, he does. I'm in more than one of them." Reno grinned and took the phone, opening it and showing Kunsel the pictures Genesis had stockpiled over the past year he had had the phone. "Genesis takes a picture of every cock he puts in his mouth and since anybody he screws ends up putting a cock in his mouth he's got more than one gay as fuck picture in here. Considering that his mom doesn't know he's gay it's a big enough threat to win you your privacy."

Kunsel gaped at the photos, taken aback. "So, you and Genesis?"

"For more than twenty minutes." Reno chuckled and doled out more coffee, generously topping off Kunsel's untouched mug with more liquor.

"How often?" Kunsel asked, not seeming to realize that the information might be private.

"Enough to make me a recurring subject of his photos." Reno shut the phone as Kunsel started going through the pictures. "Just text him saying you want the picture kept confidential and if it isn't you'll send his mom picture number five. That's all you've gotta say."

"You're sure?" Kunsel blinked, re-opening the phone to peek at picture five. He quickly blushed and exited the photo folder as he caught a glimpse of picture five. "Okay, I'll text him."

Reno smiled and sipped his coffee. "Don't worry, by the way; your secret life as a cum-slut is safe with me."

Kunsel flushed and muttered grumpily as he waited on a reply to his text message, sipping his coffee. "You're one to talk. You're the biggest cum-slut ever."

"You say that after seeing the pictures Genesis has?" Reno raised an eyebrow and cradled his coffee, his brain firing on all cylinders now that he was fueled with caffeine.

"Nevermind. He wins. You're second place." Kunsel blushed and sipped at his coffee, blowing across the top to cool it off.

"I could tell you things about some of the other SOLDIER boys you hang out with that would make you want to stop talking to anyone and hide in your emo corner." Reno chuckled softly. He had been around the block more than once and he had more dirt in his grasp than a hill gigas.

"Please, don't." Kunsel smiled and began delving into a text war with Genesis, sipping at his coffee slowly.

Reno watched, putting more coffee in the maker as their supply started running low. Kunsel was alternating between a frown and a blush, letting him know just how personally Genesis was taking the threat he had suggested. He also knew that within minutes of knowing where Kunsel was he would be at his door and trading phones. Reno knew exactly which button Genesis needed to have pushed in order to get the bossy drama queen to relent and do what he was told. In order to smooth over the phone-swap aftermath Reno would have to bribe him with more than coffee.

Kunsel looked at Reno after a few minutes. "Mind if he comes here to exchange phones?"

"Nah, that doesn't bother me." Reno smiled and sipped his coffee, wishing he had an IV of it connected directly to his wrist. It would make things much easier on him.

"You sure?" Kunsel sipped at his coffee, wrinkling his nose at the large amount of liquor Reno had kept refilling it with. "Ew! This is more booze that coffee now!"

Reno chuckled and added coffee to Kunsel's mug. "Sorry. I'm sure, by the way. Why would I care?"

"It would mean owning up to the fact that you brought me home with you." Kunsel blushed and turned his attention back to the phone.

Reno raised an eyebrow and gave Kunsel a once over. The brunette was a second class SOLDIER and had amazingly fluffy hair and a cute face, why wouldn't Reno want to brag that he had brought him home? He hadn't pegged Kunsel as the low self-esteem type, but he supposed there were more than protective reasons behind the helmet Kunsel was almost constantly trying to hide his face with.

Reno smiled and set a hand on Kunsel's shoulder. "Kunsel, you're not a ten, but you're definitely hot enough for me to want to brag that I brought you home with me. Kay? Don't get so down on yourself."

Kunsel blushed and smiled appreciatively at Reno. "Thanks, Reno."

"No problem. I'm like heroin, always there to give you a boost when you need it, even if it's an illegal one." Reno smiled and chugged more coffee. If he kept his pace up he'd be peeing for the next month.

Kunsel laughed. "Genesis is on his way over. He says he's surprised you let a snoop like me invade your apartment."

"I haven't exactly got any secrets, yo." Reno shrugged and stretched, noting a few places where his muscles seemed a little sorer than normal. Perhaps he had unwittingly tried to be more limber with Sephiroth and Zack than his body permitted.

"Oh really? None?" Kunsel blinked.

"Well, not any that Shinra doesn't force me to keep. Outside the classified stuff I'm an open book." Reno cracked his knuckles, enjoying the sensation that made it sound like he was firing off a machine gun inside his bones.

"You don't think I could find anything about you that you wouldn't want anyone to know?" Kunsel turned towards Reno, a daring glint in his eye that Reno didn't particularly like.

"No, I don't." Reno faced Kunsel, knowing that he was getting the same glint in his eye. It was the glint that signaled wounded pride and the urge to participate in a challenge that would prove one of them right.

"Wanna bet on it?" Kunsel grinned, knowing that tangling with a Turk was utterly stupid, especially when it came to mind games.

Reno grinned. "You're speaking my language now, snoop. It's a bet. You find something about me that I wouldn't want people to know in the next two months and I'll buy you dinner."

"You're giving me two months? You think it'll take that long? How insulting!" Kunsel laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. "If I do it in a month you owe me a damn good dinner and you have to make it!"  
>"Those two things will never ever go together, Kunsel. I can't cook." Reno laughed. Kunsel really didn't know a lot about him.<p>

"Victory will sweeten the taste." Kunsel grinned. If Reno couldn't cook the way he claimed he couldn't make coffee then he would be willing to eat anything that came out of the red-head's oven. Reno's coffee was ambrosia.

"Alright, smart-mouth. It's a bet. You find some dirt on me in a month and I'll make you dinner. You don't find any and I get blackmail and you have to make dinner for me." Reno grinned and slurped down coffee, enjoying the frown that crossed Kunsel's face.

"I can't cook either!" Kunsel frowned. The last time he had attempted to bake he had made his cookies into a lot of strange spongy substances that had given him three days of a very upset stomach.

"Victory will sweeten the taste." Reno mocked, offering Kunsel his hand. "Shake on it!"

Kunsel took Reno's hand and shook, grinning. "Alright, it's a deal!"

A pounding on the door invaded their camaraderie and Reno stood to answer the door, knowing that if Kunsel did it he'd most likely get greeted by a fist to the gut. "Hey, Genesis."

"I want my phone, snitch!" Genesis frowned and marched towards Kunsel, not paying Reno's greeting any merit. Reno loved it when Genesis was angry, it was adorable to see his forehead scrunch up like it was now.

Kunsel shot up from his stood and backed around the counter, knocking his seat over on the way. "I want mine too! You better not have sent anything to anyone!"

"I didn't send a damn thing! You forget my cock is in that picture! I don't want it all over the internet! It's sacred!" Genesis frowned and tossed Kunsel's phone onto the counter top.

Kunsel snatched up his phone and tossed Genesis' back to him. "Don't hurt me when I leave okay?"

"No promises!" Genesis tucked his phone into his pocket and rounded on Reno. "You're in trouble too!"

"See ya, Kunsel!" Reno saluted Kunsel with a smirk. "Don't forget your jacket." He pointed to a thin black jacket on the back of his recliner.

"That's not my jacket." Kunsel blinked as he edged around the table to get around Genesis.

"It's not?" Reno raised an eyebrow and scratched his head, ignoring the heated glare Genesis was giving him.

"Nope. See ya!" Kunsel grabbed his shoes off the floor and high tailed it out of the apartment. To him there was nothing more frightening than an angry first class SOLDIER; especially when that SOLDIER has a temper as vicious as Genesis' was.

Reno blinked at the jacket. "Whose jacket is this?"

"You're dodging the subject!" Genesis frowned and set his hands on his hips. "Only you and Angeal knew about picture five and only you would even think of sending it to my mother as blackmail!"

"Yeah, yeah, I told the kid what to text. Ease up, I think I stole a designer jacket last night and if you're nice I'll give it to you." Reno looked the jacket over, not sure where it came from, but falling in love with it as he examined it. It was definitely top of the line in quality.

Genesis looked at it with a frown. "It's Lazard's, now pay attention to me!"

"I stole off Lazard?" Reno raised an eyebrow, suddenly not as in love with the jacket anymore.

"No, Lazard lent it to Sephiroth and you stole it off him." Genesis frowned.

"Lazard is doting on Sephiroth?" Reno blinked, in love with the jacket again now that he knew he had nabbed it off of Sephiroth and that it would be easy to right his wrongdoing and save his skin.

"Lazard is always doting on Sephiroth! They're off and on, just like we are." Genesis frowned and poked Reno in the shoulder. "You're still not paying attention to me!"

"Yes I am! You said Lazard is doting on Sephiroth." Reno smiled and set the jacket down, grabbing Genesis' poking finger and nipping it softly.

Genesis frowned softly and pulled his hand back. "You're in trouble! No biting!"

"I didn't bite, I nipped and you practically begged for it you've been shoving it in my face for five minutes. I could only assume you wanted me to nibble on you. You usually like it." Reno tossed the jacket back over the chair. He wondered why Lazard would lend Sephiroth a jacket, especially when the jacket was so obviously the wrong size for Sephiroth. Maybe Lazard had been drunk too? Oh well, it didn't have to make sense he just knew that it had happened and he would have to reverse the jacket theft.

"Well I don't like it when I'm mad!" Genesis folded his arms over his chest and fixed Reno with a glare.

Reno smiled and gently tugged Genesis to him. "Any reason you're getting super pissed over a silly little threat? Do you really think I would've let Kunsel send that to your mom?"

"Yes." Genesis frowned.

"Well, yeah you're probably right, but I at least didn't tell him about picture twenty-three." Reno grinned.

"Don't even mention that one. Actually, just stop talking altogether. It's just going to get you into more trouble." Genesis frowned and pushed Reno away. "Bring me coffee at lunch and maybe I'll like you again."

Reno shrugged. "I'll be out of coffee by then. Everyone is going to need some after last night. From what Kunsel said a lot of people got a peek at my ass in a not so nice way last night. Plus I've got to apologize to Sephiroth and return he jacket so he and Lazard don't kill me."

"Well stop being such a tool and you'll have more coffee for me." Genesis rolled his eyes and went to the door. "I'm heading off to work. There's a meeting this morning and I actually don't want to miss it. After a night like last night watching Sephiroth and Lazard be pissed at each other from across the table is interesting."

"Have fun. I'll probably show up in an hour or so." Reno stretched and yawned.

"I hate how you Turks make your own hours." Genesis frowned, his nose wrinkling softly.

"We don't, Tseng just knows better than to schedule me any time before ten in the morning on Mondays. It took a few years but he's finally relented on that." Reno flopped on his couch and stretched out. "Sure you don't wanna stay?"

"I'm very sure I don't want to stay. I want you to be very apologetic later too. Technically we're on in our relationship right now and you cheated." Genesis frowned.

Reno laughed. "I didn't get any blowjobs last night, sir judge-a-lot." Reno chuckled and made himself comfortable.

"Actually, considering that we called weekend days our off days, as of midnight last night you were cheating. Since what I did was at eleven, I didn't cheat." Genesis grinned smugly at his logic.

"Whatever. I'll apologize appropriately all over your desk. Make sure you finish off any actual work you need to do by noon unless you want coffee and spunk all over the papers." Reno yawned and pulled an extra couch cushion over his eyes.

"We'll see." Genesis slammed the door shut and stalked off.

Reno yawned and held his cushion over the top half of his head, knowing that he still had to take a shower and still had to make about four gallons of apology coffee, but he could always shower right before work and show up late and he could just take a bag of grounds to the office and make the coffee there. It would really be no big deal. He just hoped that Sephiroth wouldn't kill him for the jacket, assuming it was Sephiroth he had stolen the jacket off of. He really didn't remember. Besides, since when did Sephiroth wear clothes that small? Well, not small, per se, but definitely not Sephiroth sized.

Reno yawned and started to doze off; extending the last few moments of his brain power to dwell on what secrets Kunsel could possibly spy out of him. He really didn't have any secrets, but the ones he did have would be ones that Kunsel had better not let slip, if he did Reno might cook cyanide pancakes for Kunsel's victory dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Well, tell me what you think! I haven't been writing in a while, mostly because of college finals, but over the next few weeks I'll make it my personal mission to update like a mad woman!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Kunsel shuffled through yellowed stacks of papers, frowning at the lack of detail and the abundance of doodles Reno had drawn on them. There was absolutely nothing of value on the papers and so far he hadn't found anything inside the desk either. Kunsel needed to find dirt on the red-head, he'd been at it for a solid week, but nobody knew anything that wasn't already out in the open. Kunsel knew he still had plenty of time, but he didn't like the way his odds were at the moment. He knew Tseng knew something, but the man was scary as shit and Kunsel was too scared to ask him about Reno's secrets.

A cough at the door startled Kunsel and he jumped, knowing papers onto the ground. He heard a snarky laugh as he bent down to pick them up, blushing dark. "Geez, Reno, why scare me like that?"

"Why go through my shit?" Reno walked in and sat at his chair, spinning it around before letting it face Kunsel's backside. He admired the view, his hand itching with the urge to reach out and slap the tender roundness before him.

"Looking for secrets, duh. We've got a bet on, remember?" Kunsel set a stack of papers on Reno's desk.

"Oh, right. You find anything yet?" Reno watched Kunsel bend back over. He wished that Genesis wasn't being such a bitch still; he wouldn't be as tempted to hassle Kunsel if the red-head was more willing. However, Genesis was on the war path about the stupid pictures even though it had been a week and Reno hadn't done himself any favors over the weekend. He had crawled all over other guys again and, even though he technically hadn't violated any of Genesis' rules, he had even made sure he was done by midnight; Genesis had still gotten pissed at him. Reno was starting to get sick of Genesis' attitude and he could tell they were nearing the 'off-again' part of their 'on-again off-again' relationship.

"No, nothing. You Turks know how to bury your dirty laundry." Kunsel frowned and set papers on the desk. "Wanna give me any hints?"

"Hell no, I want my victory dinner and blackmail." Reno grinned and toyed with a few heavy duty paper clips, the black kind that pinched around large groups of papers, and started putting them together.

"What are you doing?" Kunsel straightened and set the last few papers on the desk, watching Reno curiously.

"Making a monster." Reno finished his creation and set the paper clip beast in Kunsel's hand. "His name is Waldo, he is your nemesis. He knows all my secrets; you just have to get him to talk."

Kunsel stared at the thing, which had a staple remover for a head, with curiosity. "This is a shitty hint."

"Actually, it's the best hint you've ever gotten." Reno chuckled and set his feet on his desk, knocking over one of the stacks of papers Kunsel had set on it. "Now go spend some quality time with him, I've got to work."

"Yeah right, all your files are coated in doodles!" Kunsel held one of the forms up for inspection. It looked fairly important; the bright red letters on the header seemed to scream urgency, but the malboro eating a stick figure Hojo at the bottom seemed very unofficial.

"All my files are typed on the computer. Once a week I toss Tseng a flash drive and call it done." Reno cracked his knuckles and smiled. "I can type eighty words a minute; I can only write three a minute. Tseng figured out a long time ago that it was just easier to have me replicate the forms and print them out than to have me actually fill them out."

"Oh, makes sense. That's not a secret, right?" Kunsel looked up from the paper clip monster.

Reno rolled his eyes. "Go talk to Waldo. Use some advance torture techniques. Maybe he'll at least laugh for you. Waldo is one tough son-of-a-bitch."

Kunsel laughed and pocketed the paper clip creation. "Alright, I'm gone. See ya."

Reno watched Kunsel go, wondering just how safe his secrets really were when the snoop was willing to break into his office to find them.

Genesis scowled at Kunsel and barged into Reno's office, the cup of coffee in his hands flying across the room towards the red-head's face. "You dick! It's during the week!"

Reno dodged the missile and frowned as hot coffee splashed onto his wall. "What the fuck, Genesis? We were just talking!"

"He's been asking around for you all week and you've been doing the same to him! What the hell is going on?" Genesis put his hands on his hips and glared, shutting the door with his foot.

"We've got a bet going alright? We're trying to see who the better snoop is." Reno frowned and stood, grabbing old files to mop up Genesis' mess with.

Genesis blinked, "Why would you care?"

"A challenge was issued, I accepted. If I win I get dinner and free blackmail." Reno looked up at Genesis and grinned. "You know how much I love blackmail."

"All part of being a Turk I guess." Genesis crossed his arms over his chest. "You're also fond of other men so you can't blame me for jumping to conclusions. Not when Kunsel left your office looking so damn smug."

"How the hell could you tell? Kunsel had his visor down." Reno rolled his eyes and stood, walking over to Genesis slowly. The man was like a wild animal; if Reno moved too quickly he was likely to lose an eye.

"He had a grin, alright? I could just tell." Genesis pouted attractively, his lower lip curling into a frown as it jutted out.

Reno took hold of Genesis' elbows. "Hey, I've been trying to be better, okay? You gotta lighten up and have some faith in me."

Genesis unfolded his arms and set his hands on Reno's chest, not pushing him away, but ready to if he needed to. "I don't have faith in anything. I just know how these stories go. Besides, you turned my secrets over to Kunsel like they were nothing. If you had any, I'd return the favor."

Reno kissed Genesis' forehead softly. "If I had any, I'd let you."

Genesis let Reno pull him close and frowned softly. "How can you be such an open book, yet still be so hard to read?"

"Comes with being a Turk. You learn to be completely unintelligible. Making sense is dangerous." Reno kissed Genesis lightly, pulling him close. He knew they were still on rocky ground, but if he could fix their relationship he would. Reno wasn't the kind of man who threw things away when they broke. He tried his best to fix them. It was part of why he had set up the weekend breaks with Genesis; neither one of them could be too committed to each other for too long. They didn't have that kind of self-control.

Genesis fell into the kiss and reluctantly let Reno have the last word, hands that were poised to push sliding up to his shoulders to wrap around his neck instead.

**Author's Note: Sorry this update took so long, I've been swamped lately. I'm trying to update everything right now so I can catch up. Over the summer you can expect to see more from me, especially as I plan to be more of a homebody than normal due to having a particularly tight budget as a result of a broken car. That's life though, right? **

**Hope you all enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

Kunsel stared at Waldo, the paper-clip monster Reno had crafted for him as a hint, and frowned, flipping his visor up and down over his face. He was stumped. He had been trying to open the apparently non-existent Pandora's Box that held Reno's secrets for two weeks now and he was running out of time. He cursed himself for not taking up Reno's original offer of two months. Kunsel sighed and rolled onto his back when lying on his stomach was no longer comfortable and he pulled off his visor, staring at Waldo from a different angle. Kunsel was in bed because he had been hurt during training. He had a nice long gash up his leg and since his drill sergeant was an asshole and wouldn't allow him any material to help heal up the wound, Kunsel had a nice long row of stitches. He was going mad from lying in bed all day. His small, one-bedroom apartment had never seemed like such a prison.

Kunsel stared at Waldo. What the hell was Reno trying to tell him? More than once Kunsel had thought that, perhaps, Reno had tried to confuse him to keep him from going after his real secrets, but for some reason that idea didn't carry any weight with Kunsel either. Kunsel didn't think there wasn't a reason to trust Reno and his crazy hint. Kunsel scooped Waldo up and looked him over carefully. Why a weird monster? Perhaps Reno was trying to tell him about an incident he wanted covered up? Maybe something concerning the labs and all their crazy monsters?

Kunsel sat up, pulling his laptop into his lap and opening it. He had already hacked Reno's official file and found that there were so many blacked out spots that it was completely useless. They had even blocked out Reno's last name and date of birth. As Kunsel started cracking through the Shinra Laboratory's various firewalls, he tried to think of what he would look for. Anything with Reno's name would be too obvious and it was doubtful that the Labs, with all their numbered specimens, would use a simple name. Kunsel broke into the files and began searching, using Reno's employee number, which had been obtained a week earlier from the same nearly useless file Kunsel had been frustrated by, and immediately found about eighteen different files. Kunsel began reading them, sighing sadly when he realized that they were also useless.

The reports contained information on medical procedures done to Reno and a few specimens caught by Reno, but none of them had anything that sounded like a secret. There wasn't even a mention of the word Waldo. Kunsel read, his brow furrowing in frustration.

A knock sounded on the front door and Kunsel jumped, nearly dropping his computer off his bed. He snapped his laptop shut as the door opened and he reached over the edge of his bed to grab his sword in defense. "Who's there!"

"Put the sword down before you hurt yourself." Kunsel paled as Tseng, the scariest Turk there ever was, shut his door and stalked straight-backed towards his room.

Kunsel nearly peed his pants in fear as Tseng walked towards his bed. "Please don't kill me!"

Tseng raised an eyebrow. "Why would I kill you? I'm actually here with work for you."

Kunsel blinked as Tseng picked his laptop up. "Work? Why?"

"Because you've hacked our system several times and we want you to make it hacker-proof." Tseng passed Kunsel his computer. "I don't know why you're so interested in Reno's files all of a sudden, but since it's not exactly threatening to look at a bunch of old meaningless lab reports and a censored file we won't shoot you for it."

Kunsel took his laptop back, still shaking. "So you know what I've been looking at?"  
>"Of course. Now get to work filling those holes you found in our system." Tseng looked around Kunsel's bedroom, picking Waldo up and looking him over carefully.<p>

"You know that if I'm the one to fill the holes I can't probably find a way to break into them again, right?" Kunsel started coding out a new system for Shinra's firewalls, knowing that if he didn't Tseng would likely shoot him. Tseng probably wouldn't kill him, but he probably would make sure the wound was painful enough to get him working.

"I understand that, but if others try to hack into the system I want them to have trouble. I trust that after this experience you will understand that hacking into our files is unacceptable?" Tseng sat Waldo back on Kunsel's bed.

"Sir, yes, sir." Kunsel gave a salute and kept typing out lists of codes.

"What is the paperclip thing for?" Tseng sat in a chair near Kunsel's bed, obviously preparing to stay until Kunsel was done so that he could make sure the job was done correctly.

Kunsel sighed. "Me and Reno have a bet going and if I can find something blackmail worthy on him by the end of the month then he has to make me dinner and if I can't I have to make him dinner and give him blackmail on me. The paperclip monster is named Waldo and he's the only hint Reno's given me."

"You're either brave or stupid for wanting to eat Reno's cooking. I think it might be a mixture of both. The man can make some dangerously good coffee, but he can't cook to save his life. He can't even handle MREs." Tseng crossed his legs and pulled out his phone.

Kunsel raised an eyebrow as the sounds of a popular game, Tetris, started leaking quietly out of the phone. Tseng, leader of the Turks and scariest man alive, played video games? Kunsel kept typing, deciding not to think too much on Tseng's odd habit. "Victory will make it edible."

"No it won't." Tseng snorted, eyes lowered on his phone. "If you're after bragging rights more than you are a meal, I can help you out a bit. I enjoy watching Reno lose his stupid bets."

"Really? You'd help me?" Kunsel brightened, looking up from his coding to stare at Tseng in awe.

"I won't give you any information that would be harmful to Reno, but I'll try and help you figure out the hint for the secret he's given you." Tseng kept playing on his phone, not looking up at Kunsel. "Keep working. If you can't talk and work, work and don't talk."

Kunsel nodded and kept coding. "So, what help can you give me?"

"Well, instead of searching our files for Reno, start focusing on finding Waldo." Tseng and Kunsel both chuckled in unison at the idea of searching for Waldo, and then Tseng continued. "If you figure out who or what Waldo is, you'll get your secret."

"Is Waldo a who or a what?" Kunsel felt an excitement that only came with good information. He knew he should have asked Tseng earlier instead of trying to hack into company files on his own. He knew he should have, but Tseng was damn scary so he didn't feel too stupid for not asking.

"Waldo was a who." Tseng's phone kept beeping in his hands as he played his game.

"Was?" Kunsel looked up, intrigued by Tseng's choice of words.

"Was. Waldo has been dead for about…" Tseng shut his eyes and searched his brain. "Four years. Maybe five. The story about Waldo is rather sad, but I'm not sure why Reno thinks its secret worthy…"

Kunsel blinked, fingers stopping on the keyboard. "Did Reno kill him?"

"I'm not saying anything more. It wouldn't be fair. Get back to work. I expect that firewall to be operational by lunch. I have plans." Tseng hadn't even bothered to look up from his phone.

Kunsel went back to coding, improving Shinra's firewall bit by binary bit. He spent a few minutes on it and then watched out of the corner of his eye as Tseng unplugged his charging phone and replaced it with his own so that his game of Tetris could continue unimpeded. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you addicted to that game or something?"

"I blame Reno for my apparent fascination with this game." Tseng's thumbs moved quickly on the keypad of his cell phone. "There is more of an OCD urge compelling me to play this game instead of a need for entertainment."

Kunsel laughed and coded, feeling bold for laughing at the Director of the Turks. "Reno showed it to you because you're OCD, didn't he?"  
>"I assume so." Tseng kept playing, his eyes glued to the screen. "Oh, speaking of Reno, I would suggest keeping your distance because if you're looking for a romantic relationship with him you're being very foolish."<p>

Kunsel blushed and typed. "What do you mean by that?" Was Tseng trying to say he wasn't good enough for Reno? Or maybe Tseng was just trying to encourage keeping relationships with co-workers professional?  
>"His track record with relationships isn't very promising. I have never seen him in a committed relationship that worked for more than a week in all the years I've worked with him. He is just too immature and flighty." Tseng's voice kept the same, almost detached, tone that it always held. Kunsel found it odd that Tseng's pitch didn't change even though he had said something that obviously disturbed him.<p>

Kunsel blinked and shrugged it off. "Well, it doesn't matter anyways. I'm not looking for a relationship with Reno."

"That's not how it looked at the bar about two weeks ago." Tseng kept jabbing keys with his thumbs, frowning as his game frustrated him.

Kunsel flushed dark and stammered. He could remember a lot of what had happened that night, but he didn't remember what he had apparently done to get Reno to take him home. He had assumed that he had simply offered to walk the drunken man home and, since he had been drunk himself, that he had spent the rest of the night hunched over the toilet vomiting. He didn't think he had done anything with Reno.

Tseng raised an eyebrow, looking up from his phone. "You don't remember?"  
>Kunsel shook his head. "Not a thing."<p>

"Then I won't remind you." Tseng chuckled and lowered his eyes to his phone. "It's best if you don't remember. You probably took some drunken pictures of it though. Did you never get your film from that night developed?"

"I haven't had the time yet." Kunsel resumed coding, wishing Tseng hadn't dropped by.

"Well, since you're laid up if you give me the film I suppose I could be kind enough to take it to get it developed. I think you'll want to see what happened so that you don't repeat such an embarrassing debacle." Tseng's thumbs kept moving. Kunsel hadn't seen more dedicated video game playing in his life.

"I'd appreciate it." Kunsel grabbed the camera that was beside his bed and passed it to Tseng. "You won't show Reno, will you? I don't think he remembers either."

"It's your film, whether or not Reno sees it is entirely up to you. However, I can't promise that I won't see them." Tseng shut his phone and unplugged it, his brow furrowed. "I hate that stupid game."

"Did you finally lose?" Kunsel smirked, holding the camera out for Tseng.

"No, but it's so damned hard to stop." Tseng frowned and took the camera from Kunsel. "I think I need to shoot Reno for this."

Kunsel laughed and resumed typing. "That's a little unprofessional."

"So is playing video games all through meetings because you can't stop." Tseng removed the film from Kunsel's camera. "You need to upgrade your camera. I've seen disposable cameras that are better quality than this one."

"That's just the camera I use to take funny pictures. My real camera is too nice to take to the bar." Kunsel took his camera back and put it away.

"Ah, understood." Tseng pocketed the film and his phone. "Do you have a book or something? I need to do something constructive while I wait on that firewall."

Kunsel nodded and pointed to his bookshelf. "Yeah, I've got some over there. It shouldn't take too much longer to patch up the holes I made."

"Good." Tseng selected a book from Kunsel's collection and sat, crossing his legs and getting settled into his chair. "Let me know when you're done."  
>Kunsel nodded and kept typing, his mind occupied by the task at hand. He tried not to think about Waldo and the stupid bet, but after all Tseng had said he was itching to get started on his research into the subject. He worked in silence for a while, the only sound being that of pages turning and keys clacking. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Tseng's phone began beeping and he looked at the man, having a hard time containing his laughter as Tseng played on his phone, the book discarded beside him. He sniggered and turned back to his screen, wondering just how Reno had convinced the man to play video games at all.<p>

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><p><strong>Author's Note: It's been almost two months since I updated this. AH! So sorry! I've been busy. <strong>

**If anyone wants to know how Reno got Tseng hooked on Tetris, I've got a story detailing what happened.**

**Also, I don't own Tetris or Final Fantasy, but both are awesome.**


	4. Chapter 4

Kunsel shut his laptop with a smile, looking to Tseng who was still absorbed within his phone. "I'm done."

"Let me look it over before you say you're done." Tseng pocketed his phone, taking the laptop from Kunsel's lap.

Kunsel nodded. "Okay, can you pass me my crutches so I can get up?"

Tseng nodded and passed Kunsel his crutches. "How extensive is your injury and why have you not had any materia used to fix it yet?"

"It's a gash all up my leg and my drill sergeant refuses to let us have materia for our injuries." Kunsel took his crutches and slid out of bed.

"Oh?" Tseng raised an eyebrow, frowning. "It's against Shinra policy for employees to be denied any form of health care. It's in every contract that we will cover health care expenses so long as they are not cosmetic in nature."

Kunsel blinked. "Really? Because I'm not the first one he's told they can't have materia. The people in the labs were about to use it on me and he told them to stitch me up instead."

"I will be having words with your drill sergeant later then. After I look this over, I will escort you to the labs to get your back in running order and then have some stern words with your superior. Not only is it against Shinra policy to use sub-par healing measures on our employees, it is a waste of money for you to be lazing around in bed when you could be working." Tseng looked over the work Kunsel had done, his brows furrowed.

Kunsel nodded and crutched to the bathroom, hoping that he wouldn't get in trouble with his drill sergeant for having the leader of the Turks take his case. His drill sergeant was an asshole anyways, but Kunsel knew he would be worse if he got into trouble. He did his business and crutched to his kitchen, wanting a drink. No sooner had he poured it than Tseng had slid it from his hands and drained his glass of water in the sink. "There's no time for that, something's come up. Luckily for you, my errand is in the labs so I can still escort you there while I go to deal with the problem."

Kunsel blinked as Tseng walked out of his apartment, obviously expecting that Kunsel would follow immediately. Kunsel sighed and crutched after the Turk, wondering what had happened in the labs that would make Tseng give up on looking over his work.

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><p>Tseng instructed the nurses to get a doctor for Kunsel and found him a bed to lie in while he waited. The labs were set up with a row of beds surrounded by curtains lining one side of the wall. It was easier for the doctors and nurses to take care of the occasional platoon of injured soldiers that way. Tseng didn't like that the labs and the hospital area of the company were in the same place, but since so many injured Soldier operatives needed mako injections after being injured, it simply made sense to combine the two. Tseng left without another word to Kunsel, pulling the curtains closed around his bed while he waited for the reason he had gone to the labs to show up.<p>

When the stretcher was brought in, Tseng was nervous. As dangerous as the mission had been, he had still not expected things to go as poorly as they had. Reno was laid in a bed a few down from Kunsel's at Tseng's request. He didn't need the brunette to see Reno in the state he was in and he didn't need Reno ogling at the brunette while he was debriefed and healed. Reno didn't give accurate reports while he was distracted by a pretty face. It was why the man was no longer allowed to go on missions involving Genesis.

Reno was slid into the hospital bed and Tseng sighed, shaking his head at the sorry state Reno was in. He watched as a few nurses began engulfing Reno in the healing light of material, his face placid even though his mind was racing with concern. Hadn't the mission been simple enough? It was bad enough that, of the two Turk operatives sent in, Reno was the only one to return, but did he have to return in such a state?

Tseng waited for the nurses to clear away, the work they could do with materia done. Reno still looked pitiful, but his major injuries, the internal ones, were mostly taken care of. The nurses hadn't healed up the minor injuries that made him look like hell. His face was bruised over, his arms were coated in scrapes and cuts, and one of his fingernails was completely black from where it had been smashed. Tseng shook his head, watching Reno breathe fresh air into his repaired lungs. It wasn't often that Reno came back from a mission on Death's doorstep, but when he did Tseng knew he had reason to worry. The other Turk Tseng had sent with him had been newly inducted, his training had still been incomplete. Tseng had known that the man, Alec, was still nervous and a greenhorn, but he had felt confident enough in his abilities that he didn't think he'd have any problems sneaking into a building, setting up a timed explosive, and getting out of harm's way before said explosive exploded. Tseng didn't think he'd have any problems considering Reno's generous amounts of experience with infiltrating enemy strongholds and his expertize with bombs of any sort. Considering that he himself had trained Alec, Tseng hadn't thought he'd have anything to worry about.

Apparently, he had missed something in training Alec.

Reno stirred a few minutes later, opening his eyes and blinking furiously. His first words from a cracked and dust clogged throat were panicked ones. "What's wrong with my eye!?"

"Hyphema. We've elevated your head so the problem should resolve itself in a few days." Tseng stood beside the bed, hands clasped behind his back.

Reno blinked furiously, raising a hand not held down by IVs and waving it in front of his eyes. One eye followed his hand easily, its blue iris easily seen. The other eye moved as well, but the blood pooled over it obstructed Reno's vision and turned it black. It was eerie for Tseng to watch and probably more frightening for Reno to live through. Tseng had had his share of bleeds in his eyes, but he wasn't sure if Reno had ever experienced one or not. Reno lowered his hand. "So it's not permanent?"

"Of course not. We wouldn't allow you to be partially blind, Reno." Tseng was going to wait for Reno to calm down before he began debriefing him.

Reno sighed in relief and looked at Tseng, his good eye focusing on his face. "Did the Soldiers you sent with us make it back alright? I know one got shot, but there were two more."

Tseng stood; spine straight and voice curt. If Reno was ready to start asking questions, then Tseng would start asking some of his own. "The two Soldiers made it back fine. They flew you home. What happened to Alec?"

Reno sighed and looked towards the ceiling. "Alec fucked us over. We got into the place just fine, made it in through the vents like we planned and I gave him to bomb to set up. You said I needed to let him do that, remember?"

"I do." Tseng nodded.

"We shouldn't have let him do it. Alec was nervous. He set the timer to five minutes, not fifteen like I asked for." Reno frowned, wincing as his bruised face protested the motion. "He nearly got all of us killed. There was no way any of us would make it back through the vents if we had gone back out the way we came in. It took almost ten minutes to crawl through the damn vents. We didn't have the time. We had to take the most direct route out."

"So you got caught." Tseng sighed, clenching his hands behind him. How could Alec have been so foolish? Bombs didn't have redo buttons. You set it right the first time or died. That was all there was to it.

"We got caught." Reno nodded; his anger evident. "We had to run out the front past all the guards who we wanted to avoid because of that whole thing they've got where they want to kill us. We had to try and fight our way out of the blast zone. One of the three Soldiers you sent with us got shot right off. The other two were cutting a path for us and when Alec and I were trying to help fight our way out, Alec got shot through the eye. There wasn't anything I could do."

Tseng unclenched his hands, letting them fall to his sides. He was sad to hear that Alec had died, but glad to know that the cause hadn't been negligence on Reno's part. He would have a lot of paperwork to fill out either way, but Reno's record wouldn't be tarnished because of the incident. He nodded. "Continue. What happened after that?"

"I kept going, but I didn't make it out of the blast zone in time. I got caught up in the blast and last thing I remember is a really, really big piece of wall flying right at me." Reno chuckled, shaking his head. "Fuck did that hurt when it landed. How bad was I when I came in?"

"You were on Death's doorstep. I was about to start writing your eulogy." Tseng chuckled, pulling the curtains closed around Reno's bed.

"Leave 'em open. I wanna watch the nurses." Reno grinned lecherously, his eyes, or rather, his good eye, shinning deviously.

"You won't be getting any ladies any time soon. Your eye looks really gross." Tseng snorted and re-opened the curtains.

"So? The rest of me looks good still, right?" Reno smiled, a tooth missing from his front set.

Tseng laughed, enjoying the rare moment where he was able to tease Reno. "Once we get that tooth replaced you'll look fine. Especially if your eye heals up right."

Reno raised a hand to his mouth, eyebrows raised high into his hairline. "Tooth? Wait, what do you mean IF my eye heals up right!?"

Tseng chuckled. "Rest well, Reno." He walked away, listening to Reno stammer in protest behind him. He certainly did love to torment the redhead who made his life hell on a regular basis. He walked off, a smile on his face that was surprising enough to scare those he passed in the hallway. A smiling Turk was never a good thing; that was a well-known fact in Shinra.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Well, no more on Waldo, but bedridden Reno is fun! Don't worry, there will be more substantial chapters coming up.<strong>


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